The loss of a loved one to suicide is excruciating and complex. Dan Reidenberg, executive director of Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, told HuffPost that those who lose someone to suicide suffer extreme emotions such as guilt, fear, anger, shame, sadness, loss, etc.
Suicide loss survivors often feel ashamed and humiliated by people who don’t know what to say to them. A sense of isolation, regret, and guilt often plague loved ones. Those around them can also reinforce negative beliefs and emotions.
Image Credit: Pexels/Mart Production
Language can perpetuate confusion, misinterpretation, misunderstanding, and fear around suicide said Reidenberg. Those who have lost someone to suicide may find it challenging to accept supportive comments from others and make sense of the world.
To help, support, and show you care, you should be aware of common reactions when someone loses someone to suicide. Here’s what not to say:
‘At Least They’re No Longer In Pain.’
Reidenberg cautioned against making statements such as “they’re in a better place now” or “they’re finally out of their pain.” Keep your religious views private if your friend has different spiritual beliefs.
Racine Henry, a marriage and family therapist with Sankofa Marriage and Family Therapy, said that it can be difficult for loved ones to hear things such as “at least he/she/they are no longer in pain.” Someone who has never contemplated suicide may have trouble understanding the concept.
Image Credit: Pexels/Anete Lusina
‘It Probably Happened Because Of ______.’
It is critical not to oversimplify suicide by pointing to one cause, such as a failed relationship, job loss, or bullying. When a loved one commits suicide, many questions remain unanswered. Don’t guess the reason for their death and ignore the issue’s complexity
Suicide occurs because of biological, psychological, and environmental factors that come together in an individual at a moment they believe they have no other choice but to end the pain, Marshall said.