Having a long-term relationship can be incredibly fulfilling. Nevertheless, things change over time, and it’s not uncommon to feel stuck for a little while. As Elizabeth Fedrick, a professional counselor in Arizona, explained, a relationship rut occurs when one or both partners feel disconnected emotionally and physically, and the relationship no longer provides the same amount of fulfillment, excitement, or safety.
This is a phase when the spark between partners lacks chemistry, and the connection feels fizzling,” she added. It might look like not spending enough time together, not prioritizing each other, or not being as excited or passionate about physical or emotional intimacy.
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An unfulfilling and monotonous relationship can result from a rut in a relationship. Unmet expectations, poor communication, a sense of distance, and repeated conflicts are common causes of ruts. However, these periods are not insurmountable. Action is key.
What should someone do if they feel stuck in a rut with their partner? We asked Fedrick and other relationship experts. Here are their answers.
Call Attention To It
If you’re stuck with your partner, you should first call attention to it. Do not confront your partner aggressively. The healthier way to communicate with a partner is to point out what they are noticing and compassionately ask for feedback. Repairing relationship ruts starts with healthy communication. – Steve Alexander, a licensed mental health counselor at NY Wellness
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Recognize The Positives
Commend your partner’s thoughtfulness and kindness daily. Focusing on everything our partner does that frustrates or unsatisfies us when we’re in these ruts is easy. Take time to recognize small kindnesses. Gratitude goes a long way. – Amelia Flynn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York.