As you navigate the dating world, you should be alert to “red flags.” There are many warning signs to watch for, but the most important category is financial. It’s not always about money when it comes to money. Modern Sex Therapy Institutes co-director Rachel Needle said that money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships.
According to multiple studies, the U.S. divorce rate is mainly driven by financial issues, infidelity, and incompatibility. You can save yourself a lot of angst in the future by looking for financial red flags early in a dating relationship,” Needle said.
Certain money red flags are more common or concerning than others. You should communicate about red flags and consider them when making a decision. Experts break down two examples below.
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They Use Money To Control You
The “Dates & Mates Podcast” host Damona Hoffman said, “If a potential partner makes you feel bad about money or holds what they’ve spent over your head for any reason, that’s a huge red flag.”
You should also be wary of anyone who asks you to borrow large amounts of money or guilts you into paying for things. Does your date ask for expensive gifts or expensive trips?” asked finance coach Tatiana Tsoir. “If they are, perhaps they think you are loaded, and it is time to talk!”
They Embarrass You About Your Finances
When it comes to finances, there should be no shame. A person who makes you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your finances is a red flag, said Nicole Carson, a financial planner at Brunch & Budget.
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You don’t need a six-figure salary (or more) to feel inadequate, so don’t waste your time with someone who makes you feel weak about your paycheck. Your partner should understand and encourage you if you don’t consistently achieve your financial goals.