There are countless articles and videos on how to spot a potentially problematic partner and get out of a toxic relationship these days. Grace Choi, a marriage and family therapist at Act2Change Therapy & Wellness Center in Atlanta, defines toxic relationships as ones with consistent patterns of harmful behavior.
In addition, these unhealthy patterns appear when either partner feels unsafe, unsupported, or unacknowledged. It is common for couples to not take accountability for their part in communication or connection breakdowns in the relationship. The repair of toxic relationships takes time and commitment from both parties.
Image Credit: Shutterstock/fizkes
While most toxic relationship content typically focuses on what to watch out for, know that anyone can be toxic in a relationship and create an unhealthy dynamic. Here are a few signs you’re the toxic one:
There’s No Open Communication
According to NY Wellness counselor Steve Alexander, several behaviors indicate that you are toxic. Communication difficulties – shutting down – are one example. In a healthy relationship, communication is critical. You bring toxicity to your relationship if you refuse to engage in healthy communication.
Psychotherapist Noorhayati Said says you put your needs before your partner’s and pick petty fights instead of addressing issues head-on. Discuss the root of the problem, process it, and try to resolve instead of avoiding direct communication.
Image Credit: Shutterstock/Prostock-studio
You Have Unspoken Expectations
There will likely be differences in your needs and desires because you both bring different experiences to your relationship. Have you ever felt your partner should know what you need without asking? Choi asked. Do you lash out with comments like, ‘How could you not know what I need?’ If so, you might be exuding toxic behaviors.
Choi says unspoken expectations can leave your partner navigating a minefield when interacting with you. Relationships are under undue strain when we assume our partners can read our minds. Expectations should be discussed. Express yourself assertively, not shamefully or critically.