Are you tired of reading about how there is plenty of fish in the sea and the merits of offline dating? It’s okay. It’s not exactly helpful to hear platitudes again and again. Want to try something new? Here are three unconventional, rational pieces of dating advice for romantic realists.
Date Sober
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Your connection with dates can be distorted or exaggerated with beer or pinot grigio goggles. In an interview with HuffPost, Zara Barrie said, “If I have two glasses of Champagne, I can feel chemistry with anyone.”
Greg Cason, a psychologist, based in Los Angeles, said it might be time to cut back on drinking before or during a date. As a central nervous system depressant, alcohol removes rational concerns and nervous anxiety. Your standards will be lowered as a result.
Drink a soda with a dash of bitters if you feel lost without a drink. Decide if this person is worth your time by letting your sharper, wittier self take control of the date.
Uninterested? End it.
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Sometimes you don’t connect with someone, but we’re all about giving them a chance. It’s good to leave a date after 30 minutes if you know they’ve said something un-PC or you’re clearly not into each other. Meg Rector, a dating coach in Los Angeles, suggests ending it if it’s not going anywhere after a few days.
It is considerate to end a relationship cleanly, no matter how short. Everyone involved can move on easier. It’s no fun to be ghosted or strung along. Close the loop without taking too long. Get to the point, but be kind. Simply text: “It was nice getting to know you, but I don’t think we’re right for each other. Good luck!