Joe Biden and Jill Biden argued over texts to avoid a fight with the Secret Service. Rather than shutting down or exploding, introverts can think through their arguments by texting. Texting gives someone time to calm down before responding.
Understanding your loved one’s perspective and entering into their experience is key to resolving an argument. One partner actively avoids texts, which can exacerbate even a simple argument. A heavy discussion over texts can also help parents reach taciturn teens who are otherwise closed off. Texts are sometimes used to acknowledge good or bad behavior. Here’s how to make your text arguments as effective and civil as possible:
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Consider Texting When The Person Has
Time
Asking their permission shows you respect them. Opening texts with five paragraphs or surprise attacks will only catch the other person off guard and sabotage the conversation. Identify a time that works for you and ask if they are available.
Use emojis
Texting without emojis can make it challenging to convey your feelings and intonation. A smiley face or GIF might add some much-needed levity if someone shares an emoji meme on social media.
Avoid Avoidant Attachment Styles
Do not get dragged into fexting if your relationships are avoidant in relationships or your texts are unbearably slow. Simply reply: “Hey, I’d prefer to talk with you in person about this.”
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Let Your Partner Text You If They Feel They
Can Get More Off Their Chest
Writing helps some people express complex feelings more effectively. Regardless of your feelings, you are free to respond however comfortable, including a voice memo or a verbal conversation (emotionally regulated).
Have Serious Conversations In Person
A lot of serious messages can be misinterpreted, read, remembered, and brought up again and again by your partner. If you want to communicate affectionately or for logistical reasons, avoid texting.