A person who can’t leave an argument without having the last word, proving once and for all that they’re right, and you’re wrong. Relationships with people like that can make disputes needlessly long, frustrating, and unproductive.
A therapist in Roseville, California, who specializes in counseling men, Kurt Smith, said couples who compete with their partners might end up winning the battle but losing the war. Arguments and conversations shouldn’t be competitive. Here are some tips for dealing with this bad habit if it’s harming your relationship.
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What Does It Mean To Have The Last
Word?
Understanding why some people are hellbent on having the last word may be helpful. Our experts offer the following explanations:
They May Not Feel Heard
According to New York City therapist Juan Olmedo, one partner may try to establish themselves as “the winner” during an argument if they don’t feel understood. When someone exhibits this trait more frequently, Olmedo wants to know what causes it. Did they grow up in a family that valued right over understanding? Did they observe this dynamic in their parents?
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It May Be Hard For Them To Listen And Acknowledge Others
You may struggle to be heard and validated if your partner obsesses about having the last word. “They see validation as either agreement or capitulation,” Olmedo said.
They May Have Low Self-Esteem
The need to feel ‘right’ can drive a pattern of getting in the last word, Smith says. While this is a narcissistic trait, it does not establish narcissism in a person.