Motherhood

Ways Parents Make Their Kids Feel Guilty Without Realizing It

Editor's Note: This post originally appeared on our sister site Livestly.com.

Whether it’s from parents, siblings, teachers, you name it – we’ve all been guilt-tripped. Changing behavior because of emotion isn’t always good, especially for children. According to parenting educator Laura Linn Knight, a child’s feelings can be negatively affected by guilt in the long run.

Parents need to leave guilt out of their conversations with their children based on their own experiences of guilt and shame. However, it isn’t entirely bad. Kids begin to feel guilt when their actions negatively affect others or violate their values as they develop empathy and compassion.

A clinical psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital in Massachusetts said responsibility doesn’t always have to be wrong, especially if it comes from within, not from outside. The role of parents is important. It’s common for kids to feel guilty even if you’re not trying to guilt-trip them.

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Experts break down some parenting approaches that instill guilt and should be avoided. It’s important to remember that kids build their internal guiding principles in real time.

Piling On When They Make Mistakes

You should not put the kid’s actions and the action together. Children should learn from their mistakes, not be shamed for them. Be a coach and teacher instead of shaming and blaming.

Making Your Mood Their Responsibility

If a child notices that a parent is upset, they may become upset and feel guilty. Make it clear to older kids that your distress is not their concern. Your bad feelings were recognized and processed.

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Fighting In Front Of Your Kids

It is natural for children to believe that disagreements between their parents are their fault because they are naturally selfish. You should discuss these situations with your child before discussing them in front of them. Please explain how you differ from their views and confirm their desires.