“Stalking” on social media is often harmless. Ask anyone. You’ve probably looked at your ex’s social media accounts at least once. Some people peep at their ex-partners, while others do more. Lexi Joondeph-Breidbart, a therapist and social media expert who started the Lonely Hearts Club, says many people look at their ex-partners’ social media accounts for connection. Anxiety can also motivate monitoring.
Stalking can be a form of control for people who didn’t initiate their breakup. “‘Stalking’ can give them control over the information they know about the breakup if they didn’t have control over it,” Joondeph-Breidbart said. They also worry about their exes moving on and who they’re following. For a while, it feels like it is resolving their emotions.
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Among teenagers, checking on their ex-partners on social media connects and controls their narrative. The purpose of social media snooping post-breakup is to gather information about someone.
In the same way that people share their favorite songs on Spotify, their favorite books on Goodreads, their random thoughts on TikTok, their favorite aesthetics on Pinterest, or details about their professional accomplishments, they won’t reveal who they’re exchanging money with on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter.
A person’s mental health might be harmed by having all that information about them, Joondeph-Breidbart said. It also fuels “what ifs,” like “What if they’re still thinking about me?” or “What if they want to get back together?”
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She said people often interpret things, find signs, and give meaning to things without knowing why. Your former partner may also look at accounts after a breakup. Although benign, you should avoid it. It can also be a safety concern since abusive ex-partners often use social media to maintain their control over survivors.
How To Keep Your Accounts More Private
- Make your Spotify playlists private.
- Hide your location and change your privacy settings on apps