For your birthday, graduation, wedding, promotion, or arrival of a baby, a friend or relative sends you a thoughtful gift. You intend to write a heartfelt thank-you note right away. Then you procrastinate. Maybe you get too busy and forget. It’s been an awkwardly long time. It’s been months, maybe even a year.
Etiquette experts gave us advice. Should you scrap the thank-you, move on, and pray this person doesn’t write you off as an ingrate? Would you rather send a rather belated note anyway?
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The Sooner, The Better
Our etiquette experts agreed that thank-you notes should be sent out as soon as possible. According to Diane Gottsman, founder of The Protocol School of Texas, thank-yous should be mailed within days, but sometimes that’s not feasible. Ideally, thank-you notes should be sent within a week of the event.
Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting President Jodi RR Smith recommends writing thank-you notes within two weeks. The Swann School of Protocol founder and etiquette expert Elaine Swann said there is no timeframe for bereavement thank-you cards – get to it when you feel better.
If you get gifts after the birth of your baby, you get some more leeway, unlike if you just had a baby shower. Send your thank you notes for a baby shower a few days or a week after the event. Get them done and over with, Swann said.
Don’t feel pressured to complete sending the cards as a parent. Take time to adjust to the new baby and get to it when possible.
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How To Acknowledge The Delay
Acknowledge the delay of your note up front, but don’t dwell on it. Thank-you notes aren’t the place to explain the events that led to the delay. Regardless of how valid your excuses may be, it’s never okay to make excuses for your delay.