Spoilt kids think and act as if the world revolves around them. They don’t appreciate what they have and expect others to cater to them, often without contributing anything back. When they don’t get what they want, they throw a fit until they do. It implies that the child is somehow “ruined.”
Some parenting experts prefer “entitled,” which labels the negative behavior, not the child’s character. Entitled kids expect things to be done for them, like household chores, or are awarded unnecessarily, says Amy McCready, Positive Parenting Solutions’ founder. Entitled kids may also believe they are the center of the universe. “It’s usually their way, and they don’t show gratitude.”
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From time to time, kids will have “off” days. So it’s crucial to distinguish between a bad day and consistently exhibiting spoiled behavior. There are a variety of reasons why parents may indulge their kids anyway. According to Traci Baxley, author of Social Justice Parenting, parents overcompensate for the lack they experienced in their childhood.
The best way to understand parents is to see them as humans with lived experiences and past traumas. Raising Good Humans podcast host Aliza Pressman says spoiling a kid has nothing to do with “over-loving” them. She says you can never show enough love to children. “It doesn’t add to that entitlement.”
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Baxley says “spoiled” children learn the behavior. Your child, however, is more likely to be entitled if you do everything they want and not teach them limits and that they can work towards things on their own. Here are some tips on changing parenting approaches and enabling kids to show positive behavior:
- Self-reflect
- Encourage autonomy
- Set and enforce consistent boundaries
- Give them domestic responsibilities
- Don’t reward for everyday tasks
- Let your kid make mistakes and learn from them instead of rescuing them
- Reinforce values like community and teamwork