It’s okay to have minimal or less grief when you lose someone who hurt you, or even relief.
Experiencing grief is a very personal process that is not easy to predict until you are in the midst of it.
Although experts say there’s no wrong way to mourn, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable mourning someone you had conflicting feelings about, like a toxic parent or an ex-spouse you begrudgingly co-parented.
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When this type of grief shows up, you will be confused and unsure what to do. You need guidance on how to navigate emotions — or lack thereof — around the loss.
Be Kind To Yourself.
Most people, even those who are kind to others, cannot treat themselves compassionately and recognize that emotional pain is a universal experience. Whenever we judge ourselves negatively, it only deepens the pain.
Take A Deep Breath And Slow Down.
Keep in mind that when we take the time to slow down, emotions tend to rise, which is a good thing. We can help ourselves by taking deep, slow breaths as well. Breath can help us to move our emotions as well. Take a walk if you’re feeling stressed or wound up, or sit quietly and check in with how you think.
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It’s also good to stay curious and not have preconceived notions about what you should be feeling.
Don’t Compare Your Grief To Other
People’s.
Self-care and attending to your specific needs are always important, but it is essential when dealing with the wounds of grief that we must deal with. Going at your own pace is critical, so do not compare your process with those of others.