Raising a family is never easy, despite our best efforts. Occasionally, we say or react poorly to our kids. Similarly, sometimes our children witness us mistreating someone else, like a partner. Several parenting experts shared common relationship mistakes parents inadvertently model to their children.
Those behaviors may sound familiar, but don’t beat yourself up. Rather than letting them get you down, you can turn them into teachable moments. As a parent, embrace your mistakes. We learn and grow from them. Brown University’s assistant psychiatry and human behavior professor, Claire Nicogossian, said, “This is how we develop parenting wisdom.”
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blaming Instead Of Taking Responsibility
Nicogossian said that when children see you getting defensive and pointing fingers at one another rather than admitting mistakes, they think, “I can do the same.” “There are three truths in conflict: yours, mine, and what really happens,” she said.
To find the truth, it is crucial to listen to everyone’s perspective and work towards resolving conflict, maintaining healthy boundaries, safety, security, and trust. Being ‘right’ or ‘winning’ during conflict needs to be a priority.
Acknowledging mistakes is hard. When you’re emotionally drained, you can’t. Nicogossian says you must balance your emotional and rational minds to take responsibility for your actions. You should model this skill for your child – in romantic relationships and life.
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Not Communicating Your Needs Clearly
It is often difficult to clarify what we need to be a happier parent or person, said clinical psychologist Jazmine McCoy, aka @TheMomPsychologist, on Instagram. When exhausted and frustrated, it’s easier to stew in silence than to calmly state what you need from your partner. Consider self-reflection instead.
When communicating, avoid using the word ‘you.’ Instead of accusatory “you” statements, use “I” statements that focus on your feelings and needs. McCoy says you can teach your child clear communication by modeling it and not criticizing it.