A partner who rejects, abandons, criticizes, or doesn’t support you may be experiencing emotional flooding, a response to stress that makes you defensive, talk in circles, say things you regret, or shut down. The symptoms of a flooded state are a rapid heartbeat, sweating, redness of the face, shakiness of the hands, a tight feeling in the chest, and difficulty thinking clearly and listening.
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The Negative Effects of Emotional
Flooding
Zach Brittle, a Seattle therapist, said conflict patterns could become deeply entrenched and thwart problem-solving, create distance between partners, and even lead to a sense of hopelessness about relationships.
How To Deal With Emotional Flooding
As a result of being flooded during a fight, a fighter can regulate back into a safe zone. Allow yourself to reset after the surge of stress hormones by stepping away from the conversation for at least 20 minutes. Think of something soothing that doesn’t involve rehashing the argument.
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Prioritize deep breathing, meditation, cuddling with your pet, taking a shower, going for a walk, or doing some jumping jacks. Tanner suggests considering why you responded to conflict in this way. It helps you understand your reaction when you can distinguish between an actual threat and a perceived threat.
The majority of relationship problems are difficult to resolve. Care and compassion should be shown towards the lingering issues, and remember that you are a team trying to break a dysfunctional pattern.