Toxic: the new label for someone to avoid at all costs. There are toxic partners, toxic bosses, toxic friends, and toxic mothers-in-law, as the internet headlines will tell you. A few years back, it was even the Oxford Dictionaries’ word of the year when toxic was so prominent in offline conversations and lifestyle articles.
Usually, these articles say you should cut this person out of your life if these symptoms sound familiar. When the word is thrown around so often, you have to wonder: Is anyone really toxic? Has the catch-all lost its meaning? Maybe you are the one who is toxic if you call everyone in your life toxic.
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What Does ‘Toxic’ Mean, Anyway?
Contrary to narcissism, a personality disorder listed in the authoritative psychiatric manual, there’s no agreed-upon definition of a “toxic” person. When someone is asked to define a toxic person, one might think of a habitual gossip or an overly critical person, said Melanie Ross Mills, a friendship expert, and counselor.
Labels are especially sticky for humans, and toxic friendships give us a lot of room for interpretation, said Suzanne Degges-White, a Northern Illinois University professor. According to Degges-White, there are many reasons people want to label and classify others’ behavior and use that label to warn others about their dangers.
The term “toxic” is so ill-defined that some therapists say they steer their clients in a different direction when they use it.
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Here Are A Few Toxic Traits To Look Out
For:
- They will manipulate you: If you feel emotionally manipulated, you’re dealing with a toxic person.
- They won’t accept their feelings: Instead of understanding their emotions, they project them on you.
- You have to prove yourself to them constantly: You’ll often be in a position where you have to choose between them and something important. You’ll always feel obligated to choose them lest you hurt them.