People in relationships need time to themselves (or “me time”), which is equally important to a long-term relationship as date nights. The words “I need some time to myself” can seem like a threat to many people.
Some people feel rejected or abandoned when their partner emotionally or physically distances themselves, said Lee Land, a Fort Collins, Colorado psychologist. The result is an unhealthy push-and-pull dynamic.
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Land noted that often, in strained relationships, one partner pushes the other away emotionally, causing the other to try and close the gap. The tug of war causes pain and dissatisfaction. Getting the message across can be tricky for a spouse or partner who needs some alone time.
How do you avoid seeming overly concerned? Why is alone time beneficial to you and your partner? Here are some tips from Land and other therapists.
Emphasize The Benefits Of Time Apart
Having some breathing room has romantic and sexual benefits, said Stephanie Buehler, a psychologist and sex therapist. A relationship can lose romance when too much togetherness feels like family time. Partners can experience some longing after some time apart.
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Personality Types May Play A Role
According to Buehler, introverts are likelier to address this issue in therapy. Extroverts often find it hard to comprehend that introverts thrive and feel recharged after some alone time. Introverts tend to wilt if they don’t get time alone for daydreaming, reading, or doing whatever quiet activities they enjoy. “If that describes you, explain that to your spouse.”